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The union (which had big box-office potential and required Ryan to shed her longtime marriage to Dennis Quaid, who may not be long for the A-list tribe) was approved by the press and the paparazzi and seemed set to proceed to the next level.
Like the Mbaya-Guaicuru, described here by Lévi-Strauss, "these kings and queens like nothing better than to play with severed heads brought back by their warriors." A lively scientific interest in the customs and traditions of the Hollywood A-list has also made it the most closely studied tribe on earth.
If the union is deemed favorable by the community and the press, the couple will be feted in boldface type and anointed by the tribal foot servants, the paparazzi.
But as with all A-list courting rituals, the couple must carefully adhere to prescribed behavior or risk being shunned by the community.
And certain patterns have emerged (linking them most intimately, strangely enough, to the cruelly elitist but drop-dead gorgeous Mbaya-Guaicuru of Brazil).
Deprived of contact with other, lesser tribes and cut off from civilization by armies of publicists, agents, bodyguards and sinister husband-Svengalis, these well-insulated hill and coast dwellers have survived undisturbed in the manicured desert of Southern California for decades.